Fingernails

It's strange the way in which fingernails pass the "too long" threshold. They're fine, they're fine, they're a little long, and then one day you wake up and you have orange rind and weird dirt stuck under them, they're hitting your keys when you type, and you look like a creep. What gives, nails?

Sure, a shower, jacuzzi, or other prolonged wetting can catalyze this process, pushing you over the threshold in a more comprehensible way, but sometimes it happens with no extra-ordinary event whatsoever.

It's like getting old. You're young, you're young, your knee hurts, and then all the sudden you have to worry about what you eat and start grunting when rising from a seated position. What gives, life?

I've also learned that salad CAN be a delicious treat. See? Old.